Cuckolding From Abundance

The perception of cuckolding relationships is wrought with myths, assumptions, and straight-up fallacies.  Many who seek to learn more about the reality of the dynamics within a cuckolding relationship and an interpretation of those dynamics are led astray by overly-fetishized elements of the lifestyle.  There is one misconception about cuckolding relationships that tops the list of perplexing and troubling notions in my opinion.  It is the idea that cuckolding was introduced into the relationship to address a deficiency.  The most obvious deficiency so many people assume is fulfilled through introducing a cuckolding dynamic is a lacking or lackluster sex life.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  In most cases cuckolding dynamics arise in couples who are immensely satisfied with their sex life, whether they are monogamous or non-monogamous initially.

In the past year I have made myself available to answer hundreds of questions from members in the cuckolding community curious about our expression and experiences in the lifestyle.  I have noticed a pattern emerge in several of the questions that get asked most often, questions like “Has your opinion/perspective of your fiancé changed since you started cuckolding him?”, “Did you enjoy having sex with your fiancé before you started having sex with bulls?”, and “Are you still attracted to your fiancé?”  My answers to these questions have always been simple.  If my opinion of my fiancé has changed since we began a cuckolding dynamic it has only resulted in my falling more deeply in love with him.  Yes, I always have loved having sex with him and still love having sex with him, and I am obviously deeply attracted to him.  I answered these questions time and again, and I began to seek an understanding of where they were coming from.  One day during a professional training I encountered a piece of information that would enlighten me to the origin of these questions.

I learned that the manner in which we perceive opportunities and challenges in life is determined by a predisposition towards a scarcity mindset or an abundance mindset.  According to the Forbes article titled 5 Ways To Go From A Scarcity To Abundance Mindset: “Scarcity mentality refers to people seeing life as a finite pie, so that if one person takes a big piece, that leaves less for everyone else…An abundance mindset refers to the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.” Obviously, these mindsets can be applied to so many elements of life including employment opportunities, financial outlooks, and social matters.  I believe these two opposing mindsets have great bearing on how individuals perceive cuckolding relationships, and they reveal much more about the individual’s outlook than the nature of cuckolding itself.

So much of the language used to describe the cuckold experience in online media reveals a scarcity mindset. It’s often said that the cuck is being replaced by the bull, that his penis has become irrelevant to his cuckoldress because of the sex she has with bulls, that he isn’t enough to sexually satisfy her.  I am well aware that the tweets, cuckold captions, and media that propagate these messages online are steeped in fantasy and serve the purpose of jerk-off material and nothing more.  Despite that fact, we cannot ignore that repeated exposure to these messages coupled with cuckold shame and stigma can negatively impact the men consuming this material.  Sure, some consumers are able to compartmentalize and distinguish fantasy from reality especially when these desires are safely nestled in the confines of the mind.  I believe the real impact of all of this scarcity messaging becomes overwhelming when men with cuckold desires begin to consider living out a cuckolding dynamic in a relationship.  

My cuck is a fan of this content.  When he first showed it to me I wasn’t sure what to think of it.  Humiliation is often one of the most challenging elements of cuckolding for women new to the lifestyle.  I loved my cuck then as deeply as I do now, and I couldn’t imagine telling him he wasn’t enough for me.  I was more satisfied in my relationship with him than any relationship I have been a part of.  

My cuckold has always been enough for me and will always be enough for me.  He knows that.   Still, he wants me to have everything.  He has long admired the part of my being that is so naturally capable of insatiability, overflowing empathy, and unending warmth.  He recognized the abundance in my nature before even I was able to fully actualize it and realized that it was a force that deserved to be amplified, not hidden away.  He took steps toward introducing a non-monogamy and cuckolding in our relationship because it is mutually beneficial, true to our inner nature, and it comes from the overflow of all of our sexual passion for each other.

I have explored a bountiful harvest of sexual experiences as a cuckoldress and my sexual desires have changed and continue to develop.  I have come to learn how much my cuckold craves domination, humiliation, and denial within our cuckolding dynamic and I have come to love the glow of power I feel when I dole them out to him.  I have been fucked by men who could be olympic athletes at sex if it were recognized as the sport it is.  My bulls have provided me with mind-shattering sensual pleasure and our shared experiences have forged a bond of emotional and carnal connection.  None of these experiences lessened the intense sexual bond I have with my cuckold.  I am not a pie chart.  I am a dynamic and powerful woman with an insatiable lust.  Every new man I allow into my pussy does not deplete from my sexual reserve, in fact, it has the opposite effect.  The more I cuckold my fiancé the more sexual abundance I wish to share with him, and he basks in the glow of the Goddess he has elevated.  

Nobody could replace my cuckold.  His sex drive is far from irrelevant, his sexuality is driven by his desire to be my cuckold.  We have an abundance mindset that has served us well during our years in this beautiful dynamic and will undoubtedly continue to do so.  However, I continue to run up against the scarcity mindset online.  I encounter white men who read my statements about how much I adore and admire black men and irrationally infer that I must believe white men are inferior, which I do not.  I encounter individuals who make vile assumptions about the private and personal details of my relationship because we are a cuckold couple.  I see media that paints cuckolding in an unflattering and misogynistic light.  I meet this mindset with curiosity about how such an intensely satisfying and empowering dynamic built upon worshiping the plentiful nature of the divine feminine could be so trivialized.  

Shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset has so many benefits.  It quells anxiety and builds confidence.  It sets forth the assertion that you are enough and breaks down barriers of fear and uncertainty.  If you wish to embark on a journey of non-monogamy or cuckolding with a cherished partner and experience the true depth of compersion, an abundance mindset will serve you well.  You’ll find that there truly always was enough to go around (and then some).

I’ll leave you with a post from a polyamory instagram page I’ve been following. If you’re anything like me you won’t want to be a patron at the Scarcity Mindset Bar.

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6 thoughts on “Cuckolding From Abundance

  1. I don’t think I’ve ever read a better explanation of the cuckold relationship. You have explained it perfectly from mine, and I believe from my Mistress/girlfriends point of view. I can’t wait to show her this piece of writing, thank you for stripping back all the fetishised BS that makes up the majority of writing on Cuckold relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cuckoldress Scarlett, you are the epitome of a Cuckoldress and but Jenny and my favorite interviewee/co-host on the Keys and Anklets podcasts with Michael C! Thank you for composing this fantastic explanation of a realistic vision of cuckolding. We are just novices in the C/c world and have learned so much from you. You are amazing…keep up the great work on behalf of all of us C/c couples out there!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello and thank you for your wonderful information that you put out! My Queen and I are new to the lifestyle. We both agreed to not rush this huge step in our marriage. But we are a little confused about where to really go to get started down this path. We do want to remain private to some degree because of Her professional career. But we are looking for some direction and the other question is there any platform for other Women like my Wife to network with,just chat with or whatever comes to mind and just communicate with? These things seem to be where we are now as we begin our journey together in this lifestyle! Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That is one of the best explanations of living a cuckold lifestyle in today’s modern society. Very well researched and written. Wish it would have been more (always a Cuckold’s desire-ha) . My wife started ‘molding’ me while we were dating then engaged. She had her own ideas of what a future marriage was going to be, being a divorcee that got burned pretty bad by a two faced guy. With my own high sexual appetite and her over drive sexual appetite, we were grooving down that path side by side. As you stated, most cuckold relationship couples already have a satisfying sex life, and we did. But I had one of those jobs that took me away for months on end and we had to work something out so we wouldn’t go down that divorce road. A cuckold marriage lifestyle worked for us. It’s not everyone and that’s honestly fine with me. There are those couples you just like see that are just totally monogamous with each other. But for others, with such a high divorce rate in the US, being open and honest is a key. Thank you for the great page and keep them going as an on-going educational series.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Last night I read though all your posts and I just want to thank you for posting them all and sharing! In the spirit of sharing I wanted to come here to share how some of the posts made me feel.

    First, for a bit of context I’m currently experiencing a bit of a “wobble” in my cuckold confidence. I have been fantasizing about cuckolding for around 15 years or so, and have shared with my wife these fantasies along with the typical kinds and fetishes that go along with it. When working though some personal stuff I had a period of insecurity about the size of my (large side of average) penis but worked though that and have since enjoyed fantasizing about SPH by myself and using it as part of play with my wife. I’m comfortable being naked and and I’m fetish fantasies aside I’ve been quite happy with my body. In the couple weeks though I’ve hit a bit of a road bump and I’m feeling insecure about it again, and I’m trying to be curious as to why. There could be many factors and I’m aiming to write about it in a blog post myself. Because of this please take the below in that context, and I’ll try to write with vulnerability instead of like a typical insecure online cuck. 😄

    With that context set I wanted to ask you and your cuckold if you could really dig into that part of the lifestyle. What happens when your cuckold had a crisis of insecurity about their body? This whole paragraph in The Green Eyed Monster had me with pit-of-my-stomach feels:

    > This is the form of jealousy that has been most prevalent in our relationship. My cuck realized very shortly after our transition that he could never provide me with the sexual pleasure that my bulls can. He had fantasized about this experience for years, but experiencing it in reality was raw and new. The bulls I have had the pleasure of sharing my bed with are generally athletic and have bodies that are very different than his. Yes, they are more well endowed, but they also have sexual stamina and virility that he has never been able to achieve. These specific jealous feelings can be very common for cuckolds, as they often deeply desire their Cuckoldresses to seek out men who are very different than them. This thought excites them, but can also trigger feelings of low self-esteem. Cuckolds who are confident in themselves may never experience this form of jealousy. Thankfully, my cuckold fiancé has grown out of experiencing this jealousy with time and communication.

    And I wondered if you ever might be able to elaborate on that last part. This post (Cuckolding From Abundance) addressed this a bit which was nice but I was wondering if you might be able to talk to specifics about how your cuckold has keep from falling into a dark place about his own body (not just size but performance as well, basically all the things you couldn’t ever change, even with working out 7-days a week 😄).

    > If I’m brutally honest, the thought of sucking a small, white dick only brings about a feeling of revulsion.

    You also mentioned you still enjoy sex with your cuckold, does this include any vanilla sex still or is it all fetish based? (i.e. What does a satisfying sex life between you and your cuckold look like if other people were off the table now?)

    Finally (sorry this is already so long!), you talked about this in the above post.

    > It’s often said that the cuck is being replaced by the bull, that his penis has become irrelevant to his cuckoldress because of the sex she has with bulls, that he isn’t enough to sexually satisfy her. I am well aware that the tweets, cuckold captions, and media that propagate these messages online are steeped in fantasy and serve the purpose of jerk-off material and nothing more. Despite that fact, we cannot ignore that repeated exposure to these messages coupled with cuckold shame and stigma can negatively impact the men consuming this material.

    And I hear you! It is what is so odd in this fetish, you want to feel those feelings but they can also hurt if not watched carefully. What I wanted to ask of you and your cuck, how do you both keep the continual verbal and physical humiliation you give him (like the audio of She’s Got A Dirty Mouth) from doing the same thing? I would imagine most of the times it is just hot, but does it ever effect his self esteem or body image from time to time? If so could you share stories of this?

    Thanks again, sorry for the article length comment! And remembering this is my own emotional little wobble at the moment. I guess I’m expecting emotional wobbles to happen from time to time if me and my wife try this lifestyle out, and and wanted to hear more about the kinds you and your cuck had and what you said to talk though them together.

    Cheers!

    Like

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